


And I Will Love Every Part of You

by mackenziemchale



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: A glance into Will’s childhood, Angst, F/M, Post Series, Pre-series flashback, Some Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26734324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mackenziemchale/pseuds/mackenziemchale
Summary: “Where did this come from?” Mac questions softly as she rubs a finger across the two inch scar that marked his upper bicep.
Relationships: Will McAvoy/MacKenzie McHale
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	And I Will Love Every Part of You

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter of A Step in the Right Direction will be coming soon but I’ve had this idea in my head for a little while and really wanted to write it.
> 
> Thank you to Leanne for proofreading this ♥️
> 
> Enjoy 💛

Stepping into the bathroom, Mackenzie closes it behind her and starts to pull off her blouse, “I’m coming in!” she announces. The shower just across the room from her was running and had been for the past five minutes and she hoped he wasn’t already done. Then again, five minutes in the shower wasn’t long enough for anybody, even him.

Mac opens the shower curtain a minute later, fully nude now and steps in straight under the warm water. She makes sure to close the curtain before turning around to be met by the sight of Will, who was currently scrubbing himself down with a bar of Irish Spring soap. 

“Took you long enough,” he teases.

“Sorry,” she begins as she turns to the shower valve and turns it from warm, to her preferred level of hot. “Sloan just kept going on and on, eventually I told her I had to go before you divorced me,” Mac laughs and turns back to her husband.

Will notices the temperature of the water change immediately and flinches, “are you trying to burn me alive?” He exaggerates as she steps over to him.

“Oh come on it’s not  _ that _ bad.” 

“I’ll never understand why you insist on having showers from hell,” Will complains.

Mac shrugs before her arms slide around his waist, “it reminds me of home,” she jokes.

Will sets down the soap he had been using and slides one arm around her waist, “really? I thought they described heaven as a paradise, I would hope it isn’t as hot as this shower.”

The eye roll from her is a big one, she should’ve known he’d say that. “Shut up,” she insists.

“What did Sloan want anyway?”

Grabbing the soap Will had set down, Mac continues scrubbing him down and starts with his chest. She shrugs, “someone to complain to, something about Don and their relationship.”

“Any big problems?”

She shakes her head as she guides the soap over toward his left shoulder, “no, nothing to worry about. She’s just never been this serious about anyone she’s dated, not even the guy she was engaged to. Besides being her closest friend, she knows I’ve been in the same boat.” Her hand slides down from his shoulder and over his bicep and as Will starts talking again she suddenly tunes him out as she runs the soap over the scar on his upper bicep.

Mac had seen it before, plenty of times, and by now she’s so used to seeing it that it usually doesn’t register that the scar is still there every time she sees the entirety of his arm. But it was there, and it had been for many decades. It wasn’t as noticeable as the one that lined part of her abdomen or as noticeable when she first saw it, but in all of its somewhat faded glory it still stuck out. That wasn’t the only scar he had, it was just one of several that had been given to him throughout his childhood from his abusive father. Mac had no clue why she was fixated on it right at this moment but she almost drops the soap as she goes to run her finger over it, thinking about the first time she saw it and when Will told her about all of the scars he had and how he received them.

Her mind reaches back to that moment and takes her along with it.

**2005**

_ Eight months, nearing a year, that’s how long Mackenzie has been spending almost everyday with Will. (Not counting that they worked together and had no choice but to see each other everyday). No, their relationship had started eight months earlier when he finally got the nerve to ask her out on a date. She had a feeling for a couple weeks that he liked her, having noticed the longing glances he gave her and the banter that they had since they met only turning flirty. Somewhere along the way she started flirting back and up until he asked her out, they spent every night talking on the phone into the early morning despite having to be at work around eight.  _

_ At the beginning of their relationship the so-called “honeymoon phase” came strong. They kept their relationship at bay during work because even though they tried to keep it a secret, the paparazzi eventually caught the two of them on a date at a fancy restaurant and published the pictures everywhere. Their boss wasn’t exactly thrilled but given how their relationship didn’t seem to affect their work, he let them carry on. It was easier to do that than bring HR into it. And alone, they were annoyingly sappy and touchy. Calling each other nicknames like “my love” or “lover” and the one Mac coined very early on in their relationship for Will, “Billy.” He hated whenever anyone else called him that and everyone who knew him knew not to call him anything besides Will, but when Mackenzie called him “Billy” something about it, maybe it was her accent mixed with melodic voice, he melted into a puddle. _

_ “Where did this come from?” Mac questions softly as she rubs a finger across the two inch scar that marked his upper bicep. _

_ They were laying in his bed in his apartment and both of them were nude, half covered by the bedsheets. They had been cuddling until Mac decided to start pressing kisses along his body and when she made it to his bicep, she noticed the scar for the time. Eight months dating, seven months sleeping together and this was the first she’d seen it. It obviously wasn’t a recent scar due to it being slightly faded, but she still hadn’t noticed it. Now she was wondering what other little details of his she had missed. _

_ While waiting for an answer, Mac feels Will slightly tense at the question like it brought back a bad memory of how he got the scar. She opens her mouth to say something but Will gets out his words first, “oh… it’s nothing. I fell when I was kid and managed to cut myself pretty deep with a glass bottle that broke when I fell. I don’t really remember.” _

_ She knows he’s lying, in eight months she’s become an expert at telling when he’s lying to her. Instead of pushing at the topic and trying to get the actual answer out of him, Mac just nods and presses a gentle kiss to the scar. She then nestles back into his embrace and closes her eyes, “goodnight, Billy.” _

_ Will feels bad for lying and it isn’t that he doesn’t trust her, but he doesn’t know that if he’s ready to open Pandora's box yet. Mackenzie knows he had a bad childhood, that his father was an abusive drunk, but that was the tip of the iceberg. There was still a lot he hadn’t told her, but then again opening up wasn’t on at the top of his list of his favorite things to do. It was just easier to keep it all to himself (or so he thought) and not burden her with all of his issues. Besides, they were semi-serious but not quite to a very serious place yet, he hadn’t even met her own parents. He didn’t know where they’d be in a few months so waiting to open up more was the most appealing to him. _

_ He shifts back slightly and kisses the top of her head then gets comfortable again before closing his eyes too, “goodnight Mackenzie.” _

**Eight Months Later**

_ “You know, seeing that it’s your birthday… I didn’t think you’d be so glum,” Mackenzie says as she steps out onto the balcony of their apartment. Will had disappeared sometime after dinner for a smoke, but she could tell throughout the day something had been bothering him. He had happy moments like when she surprised him with a big breakfast in bed this morning and when she gave him his gift, but for most of the day he seemed to have this heaviness weighing down on him.  _

_ Mac knew he never favored his birthday for several reasons but she hoped maybe she could make it a good one, last year they went to dinner together at a five star restaurant and spent the night together and she thought it was a pretty good birthday. Maybe she had been naive then, she didn’t know him as well as she did now and there was a chance she missed all the signs she had picked up on today. Like the way he seemed more closed off than usual. How she had to beg him to take the day off from work so they could spend the day together and not worry too much about what was going on in the world. Or now, how he was lingering on the balcony taking longer than he normally did with his smoke break. At first, Mac just wanted to give him his space, but now she was concerned and maybe she should’ve asked sooner what was wrong. _

_ Will turns after having just blown out some smoke from his cigarette and he sighs, shoulders falling a little. “I’m sorry.” As much as he didn’t like his birthday, he didn’t like upsetting Mac more. He never liked seeing the hurt in her eyes even when she tried to hide it like she currently was. _

_ She walks over to the table he was standing by and shrugs, “I know you don’t particularly like today… but I just wanted to help you make memories that are happy to…” Mac looks down and realizes how silly her thought process had been, there was no way the two happy memories (if they even counted as happy to him) could outweigh the years of bad ones. “Never mind,” she utters. _

_ His chest aches at her words, so he puts out his cigarette and envelopes her in a hug, “I appreciate what you’ve done for me today and what you did for me last year,” he says softly. It was true, Mac seemed to be the only light in the darkness that held itself particularly low over him on this day. She was the only light for him most days, and Will knew he didn’t appreciate her as nearly as much as he needed to. _

_ Will whispers a thank you and hugs her tighter for another minute before he breaks away and takes her hand, taking her back into the apartment they shared. Neither say a word on the way over to the couch and when they sit down, they sit across from each other still not speaking. _

_ It takes him a couple of seconds to not only gather his thoughts, but decide if he’s ready to open up to her more. He did love her after all and she knew that, and Will knew that she loved him. He trusted her too, so there was really no reason for him to not open up more. Letting out a slow breath he starts, “I haven’t been completely honest with you.” _

_ In an instant he could tell that her stomach had flipped over when he saw worry flash in her eyes. So, he keeps going, “do you remember the scar on my bicep you noticed a while back? And the others?” It wasn’t just one scar he had, there was the one on his bicep, one on his lower back, and another on his lower thigh. Mac had seen all of them at this point but never asked after she saw the first one. _

_ “Yeah,” she nods, not wanting to say much and rather listen to what he had to say. Mac knew what was about to come and she wanted to give him the space to feel comfortable sharing all of this. It surely wasn’t easy. _

_ Will nods and he swallows hard, he was doing everything in him to not relive the memories that stuck around in his mind for decades— never truly leaving him. “It’s not the only one and I know you’ve realized that by now…” he takes in another breath and right before he can say anything else, Mac reaches out and takes his hand, not saying a word but instead gives it a gentle squeeze. It was reassurance he could trust her and a reminder that she was there for him. _

_ “When I was sixteen, on my birthday actually, my mother threw a large party for me and a lot of my friends came. I don’t actually remember the party or much of the day but I do remember that I had a good day until my father came home. He had been out at a bar drinking all day. He came home and started screaming at my mom and I still don’t know what for, but that was a common occurrence…” Will stops for a moment and lets out a sigh as he recalls that night, he remembered it more than he did the party, “I got in between them before he could even try to hit her. I didn’t even realize it until he hit me that he was holding a beer bottle in his hand. He smashed it right over my bicep and I was wearing one a tank top because Nebraska in the summer is very hot and it sliced my arm right open. The glass hit me just right. Funny thing is, it didn’t even hurt that bad. I was blinded by the feeling of wanting to protect my mom and my siblings that I didn’t really notice how bad the cut was until he stormed out of the house. My mom took me to the hospital even though I told her I’d be fine and they stitched me up… and here I am with a faded scar and a bad memory of that day, decades later.” _

_ Mackenzie scoots closer to Will, her hand still in his, she wanted to reach out and press a hand to his cheek but thought maybe now wasn’t the right time. She’s been lucky enough to have never been in that sort of situation and she couldn’t imagine the headspace he was in or how bringing that back to the surface made him feel, “Will… I’m… I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for opening up to me like this.” _

_ He was staring down at the floor, one would think there would be an overwhelming amount of emotions filling him to the brim but he almost felt nothing. Not nothing, as in it didn’t affect him because it did, everything his father ever put him and his family through shaped their entire lives. Will was the oldest and the protector meaning he took it the most of his father’s abuse, so it definitely affected him. No he nearly felt nothing because of how numb he was to all of it. At some point his brain became exhausted from trying to deal with the emotions that it made him numb and anytime he stepped back into thinking about his childhood that’s how he usually felt. _

_ She wasn’t worried when he initially didn’t respond, wanting to give him a little time to process but when the silence grows more and more as the minutes pass, Mackenzie worries that he wasn’t alright. “Billy?” She squeezes his hand again. He didn't have to say anything as long as he gave a sign, like a squeeze back, that he was somewhat alright. _

_ “Hmm?” Will finally breaks his trance he fell into while staring off at the ground and his eyes meet hers again. _

_ “You alright?” Mac nearly regretted the words after asking them because she could see the change in his eyes. Before they weren’t really filled with any particular emotion but now she could see the pain he was desperately trying to push down. She wouldn’t pry though, it wasn’t often that Will opened up like he had. _

_ He’s quiet for another few moments, looking down at their hands and how tightly her smaller hand was gripping onto his larger one. Something about the simplicity of her holding his hand as tight as she was or even at all for that matter reminded him that he wasn’t alone. She was there for him and she loved him, that wasn’t something he was used to.  _

_ Will keeps his eyes on hers when they move back there again, “you know, if you were anybody else I would’ve lied. I considered it for a moment but then I realized that you’re not anybody else. Truth is, I’m not really alright but I will be.” _

_ Mackenzie nods, her heart still heavy, and she wished there was something she could do to take away his pain. Make him forget about all of the horrible things he went through, but it was never that simple. “Is there… is there anything I can do?”  _

_ “You know, I really like it when you hold me,” he admits. If it had been anyone else he would’ve felt embarrassed for saying that immediately, but with Mackenzie he felt no shame in admitting that he liked being held by her. _

_ She gives him a small smile and nods, “I can do that.” _

_ Mac lets Will lay down on the couch first then slides in behind him, wrapping her arms around his torso and nestling her face right into his neck. She gently kisses his shoulder and almost instantly feels his whole body release the tension and finally relax. _

_ Neither say a word, instead they enjoy the silence and the company of each other. _

**Present Day**

“Mac?” Will’s voice rings through her mind and brings her out of the memory replay. Her hand was in the same spot as it had been and she wondered how long she had been reflecting. 

She shakes her head, “what?”

“I thought I was going to have to call for an ambulance or something for a second there, you didn’t respond to what I said and then stopped washing me so I thought something happened. Everything alright?”

Mac stares at the wall behind him for a moment and then her eyes finally meet his own, “you know that I love you right?”

Will’s confusion starts veering back toward the concern he had when she wasn’t answering him. Of course he loved hearing her profess her love for him each time she did it and he would never get tired of hearing it, but he was getting concerned that something was wrong. She did go to the gynecologist earlier today for a check-up on their unborn child and he thought all had gone well but if there was something she wasn’t telling him, he needed to know now. 

“Mac where is this coming from? Not that I don’t love hearing you say that but is there something wrong?” the concern had returned and it was clearly showing through in his voice. He couldn’t help but jump to conclusions, she did zone completely out of it there for a short period, maybe she was thinking about everything that could’ve been if this was in fact about their baby.

When she hears the concern in his voice and sees it matched in his eyes, Mac realizes how cryptic she was being. Zoning out then telling him she loved him when the conversation before she was out of it had been completely different, she couldn’t blame him for worrying. “Hey,” she takes his hand and squeezes it, “you don’t have to worry, everything’s fine. I just would prefer to talk about why I was out of it somewhere that’s not going to turn us both into raisins eventually,” she jokes.

The shower ends shortly after and while on his way to the bed, sliding into a pair of shorts, Will asks, “and nothing’s wrong right?”

Mac slides under their sheets after having slid on her own pair of pajama shorts and nods, “everything’s alright my love. We’re fine, the baby is fine, but she is making me a little nauseated.”

He slides into bed beside her and leans over, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, “sorry about the nausea, what did you want to talk about?”

They were both half sitting up in bed, side by side with the sheets half covering both of them. Mac shifts so she can face him a little better, “when I grabbed the soap and started washing you, I got to your bicep and saw the scar you have and I know I’ve seen it thousands of times before but something about that time reminded me of when you first told me about it. I think that was the first time since we started dating where your walls  _ really _ came down. You had opened up to me before, but by then we both knew and told each other we loved each other and I think that’s when you really felt like you could tell me things like your dad smashing a beer bottle on your bicep while you tried to protect your mum,” there’s a pause as she gathers her thoughts, “my point is that even though by now I think I know just about everything there is to know about you, I don’t want you to forget about the little things like how you’re feeling. Your feelings matter so much to me. That and I wanted you to know that I love you because you deserve to know it.”

Will shifts this time so he can get a better look at her, for a moment he doesn’t say anything, almost speechless in a way. In personal relationships, he always strayed away from talking about his own feelings and from opening up in general. It was part of how his father’s behavior affected him in the long run and not taking the time to open up was a whole lot easier. In most cases, it usually left him lonely. Then Mackenzie came into his life and decided that she wasn’t going to back down from his concrete walls without a fight. She definitely hit road bumps along the way, but managed to bulldoze all of those walls and find her way right into his heart and his trust. He wasn’t sure how she managed to do it, but here they were.

“Yes.”

“What?” She looks up at him, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

“You asked me in the shower if I knew that you loved me. Yes, I absolutely one hundred percent know that you love me and I love you too.”

Her eyebrows fall her face softens and she reaches out, pressing her hand to his cheek, “good because you’re stuck with me, for…. well eternity.”

“Eternity? Hmm.. I might have to reconsider a few things,” Will teases.

“Watch it mister,” she warns, her expression turning stern for a moment.

He smiles instantly, “eternity doesn’t sound half bad, as long as you’re by my side.”

Mac scrunches up her nose, “that was very cheesy.”

“Says you,” he counters.

“Oh just shut up and kiss me.”

Will listens to his wife without hesitation and leans down, meeting her halfway in a loving kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I may have said this before, but I love exploring a more vulnerable side of Will. It’s nice to see another side of him tbh. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this, thank you for reading as always. 
> 
> Feel free to leave a kudos or comment if you feel so inclined 💛


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